My Story…

Becoming a peer advocate helped me feel less alone and gave my life the focus it had lost. I have had a life that until recently I believed was almost uniquely bizarre and impossible to relate to. The frequent moves across the country or even the world, and the equally constant changes in occupation, have taken a real toll on my mental health. Training as a peer advocate helped me reclaim my story and make meaning of a life that has often seemed incoherent. There are a couple of content warnings as a result.
I knew by the time I was thirteen years old that my Midwestern hometown did not offer any opportunities for me. As soon as I graduated high school, I left for another state and set off a chain reaction that saw me living in two additional states and two overseas countries by my mid-twenties. My first job out of college was in a Pennsylvania company town with subminimum wages due to a legal technicality and no opportunity to advance my career without moving again. I sustained a s3xual assault my second and last year there that led to both a serious drinking problem and an even worse self-harm problem in the total absence of effective help. But I managed to escape and get a fresh start in the Sunbelt thinking the worst was over. I was wrong. Just as I rebuilt my life, it came crashing down again, this time from my fiancée dying from an overdose a mere three weeks into our engagement. At twenty-four I was a rising star in a seemingly stable career field with a boss who predicted I had a future in politics; by twenty-seven I was living in a tent with every one of my dreams shattered.
I share this because it’s important for struggling people to see what others have overcome – and how we’ve overcome it. There is no single thing that on its own can salvage a person’s life. Getting help from people who have the means to keep you financially afloat and off the streets is certainly one important part of many people’s recovery story, including mine. But it’s not enough by itself. A work ethic isn’t the whole story either: you have to be ready to work hard to change your life, but all the effort in the world only goes so far without opportunity and networking. Thinking outside the box and being adaptable can be just as important as working hard. In my case, I bought myself some time by taking a job overseas for a few years, where I discovered that taking the time to treat yourself to something that might not seem strictly necessary for survival – traveling in this case – can make the difference between floundering and persevering; it sounds counterintuitive, but people need to experience some things that aren’t considered core survival needs in order to survive. The moment you see yourself as a charity case who deserves only the bare minimum, all is lost unless you can rediscover yourself.
The Covid pandemic became the opportunity I needed to make one last relocation and one last career switch. I moved to a struggling Upstate New York city with a great need for human service providers and over the next few years fully familiarized myself with the local social services scene. When I learned about peer advocacy, I knew I had found my ideal niche. Being a peer allows me to connect with people who have had similar upheavals in their lives. It means that my discouraging story can become an empowering one, and that those years of my life weren’t a waste.

- Anonymous